Sand Witch Review - Public Enemy

Welcome to the Sand Witch Review. I'm Mattysandwich and here's my review. Alright I'm sorry I haven't updated this in quite a while. The truth of the matter is that I was in Great Lakes, Il visiting my brother who is stationed at the Navy Base there. You see he had a free weekend so my family and I went to visit him. We wanted to do whatever he wanted to do since we love him so much. Unfortunately one of the things that he wanted to do was see the new movie Public Enemy.

Now all those who don't know what Public Enemy is about, you clearly have not seen any movies recently. This movie has been in almost every movie trailer that would show it and to be honest, it never really impressed me. I tend not to like movies based on actual people in real life because most of the time I do not it's interesting enough. Mostly because when you break it down, real life situations are really hard to find. Mostly because people don't like them. People tend to like situations where it's believable, action gripping, and ultimately epic. Movies based on real life circumstances tend to be too real which throw people off of it. But don't listen to my biased opinion. Instead, listen to my biased review.

Alright now the movie starts off with a Jail break. This is the first mistake of the movie, you never start off with a really cool or creative scene unless you are ready to top it. And since I saw one of the scenes later I can safely say that the scene I saw wasn't going to top it so why start off with a prison break? You see this is what I meant where actual situations conflict with believable situations. In a believable situation you'll have the character have only one jail break and it'll be much later to have a significant dramatic point in the movie. However since in real life I guess they started off with a jail break they just figured to start it off there as well because it's supposedly packed with drama and action.

Oh man now I mentioned the action scenes. I really didn't want to do this till later so that I could control that hatred for just a bit longer. Oh well, I mentioned it so now here I go they sucked! I don't use that phrase lightly either they were dull. For one thing it was just a bunch of shooting. If I wanted more genetic shooting, I would have played a FPS and saved the twenty bucks. Second of all, there's no music in the background of any of the action scenes. Do you have any idea how boring a movie's action scene is without any sound? Very! There was actually a scene when the main character was breaking out of jail again and I was playing 'he's a pirate' from pirate of the Caribbean to make the action scene actually somewhat enjoyable. That's another wart I'm going to poke at while I'm commenting on the action scenes. During the course of the movie the main character gets sent to jail where he then wit fully escapes the prison walls. Wow this was almost as impressive as the first time he escaped prison! I mean, come on! You can't show us the same adventure scene as you did already, it gets boring. I swear to you I was biting my tongue so that way I didn't yell at the movie right in front of my brother.

Alright now it's time to talk about the drama and story line. It's too damn obvious! This is another situation where I want to bring up the difference between believable and actually happening. When you have a movie that's believable, they'll often do what you don't expect so that way it makes the story more compelling. However with this movie, everything was spelled out. It was so blankly obvious there was one moment where just in my head I was just saying how stupid it would be if he told the girl about his true identity when he just met her and then I thought "Oh god he's going to do it." Sure enough next scene he's spilling all of his secrets. I swear to God if I had a heavy enough object with me at that moment I would have hit myself in the head so that way I could knock myself out. Also, it was boring. Since you could predict everything nothing was compelling. Bad guys chases him, good guy runs faster. Bad guy captures him, good guy escape. I swear to you just play a game of cops and robbers with a three year old and you'll get the same amount of story line as you get in this movie.

Another thing that I'm going to rant about is how long this movie is. This movie was two hours twenty three minutes. That's two hours way too long. I mean, when you predict the next dramatic scene and the action scenes aren't grasping your attention, what's there to watch? I mean, think about all the other things I could have been doing during those two and a half hours. I could have been developing a cure for cancer, capturing a shiny pokemon, or just doing illicit drugs. Any one of those options I would have preferred then seeing this movie, preferably catching a shiny pokemon.

Alright now I'm going to say the one thing I will actually call good, the acting. I mean, what do you expect when you have Johnny Depp and Christian Bale? Both of these people played the people that they were expected to be. To be honest, this was the only thing that I was shooting for in the movie. I mean, Christian Bale made a great Batman (despite the voice,) and Johnny Depp is the only person alive who can successfully pull off a good 'Captain' Jack Sparrow (at least in the first movie when Pirates of the Caribbean was still good.) The only problem is that both of these famous actors were stuck playing in an overly annoying predictable movie.

Overall I'm giving this movie a one out of five. It was dull and nothing about kept me on my seat. While admittedly my opinion is biased due my own beliefs and prejudices, that's the reason why it's my review and my opinion. My advice is don't see it and when other people tell you they're going to see it steal their wallots. That way not only do you stop them from seeing an awful movie, you also get a wallot full of cash. Alright getting off now. This has been the Sand Witch Review and until next time, your time is up.